Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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