too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
