So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize