The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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