I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
