We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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