well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
