My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
