we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
