Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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