I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize