i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
