I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
