Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All the doctor said was why
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize