problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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