We're like a lot better than the average bears
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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