Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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