Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
