idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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