trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
