This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
