So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
