beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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