called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
