We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
this will be a night to untag.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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