I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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