i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
