Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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