it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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