He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
