I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
