someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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