There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
