Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
