dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
