I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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