my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
