Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize