You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
cat food counts as protein by the way
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Randomize
