My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
that may or may not have been my penis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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