saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
