Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
