i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
