I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Quick, to the slutcave!
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hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks