Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.