Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels