So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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