what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The ass gains better be worth it
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