so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
