he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
