So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
