why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
