Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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