My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
