I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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