I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
