does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
