my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
