Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
