A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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