he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
