Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
